"Contained"

Thoughts race relentlessly around in my mind:

emotions, so intense.

Yet, I keep them inside:

contained and controlled.

Here, in the silence,

there is nowhere to hide -

so distract, distract - distract some more.

Don't say I've not tried.

At the end of the day -

each day -

you don't see me cry.

"All I've Ever Known"

My truth so pure, a radiant light,

I'll never touch or know -

I must release, and let it go -


immerse myself in the sanctuary

of this eternal night.
 

Darkness will always feel right to me.

It's all I've ever known:

It's home.

"Dreams Instead"

How can I endure reality -

not reside inside my own head?

My truth may be pure fantasy.

Yet, I choose these dreams instead

of emptiness and shades of grey,

and the darkness that descends.

My logic screams to pull away,

but my happiness, day to day, depends

on dreams instead - and my heart rejects

so-called "reality".

"World Closing In"

Please stop the world

from closing in.

Neon screams

in dark, damp corridors

devour the final fragments

of my sanity.

I cannot breathe.

I cannot leave.

The pain is overwhelming.

Please stop my world

from closing in,

crashing in.

Don't leave.

Don't leave.

Don't abandon me.

Just stop the world

from closing in.

"Over the Edge"

Your so-called "help" has left me broken,

and worse than I was before.

My words remain unspoken.

I cannot endure any more.

How can you call yourself

a "professional"?

Watch my health

progressively

deteriorate -

and not even care at all?

You weren't content simply to

watch me fall.

You pushed me -

are pushing me still -

over the edge.

"That It Was Me"

Are you hurting me on purpose?

I tried to believe that it was me,

my distorted thoughts, the tendency

to over-analyse - and not

your inconsistency.


Why do people claim to be

your friends, when they are not?

Why must they make you give a damn,

and then leave you to rot?


I searched for ways to prove

to myself that it

could really be

simply

my own insanity,

that made me see

right through the lies.


Now I realise the truth:

It is not. It never was.

"Broken Girl"

She exists in a corner

of her own life.

This emptiness, that she feels inside -

you did not, could not, understand.

You never even tried.

Easier just to close your mind,

and leave the broken girl behind.