Wednesday, 25 January 2017

"Life Sentence"


I’ve always said that friendship is eternal –

but maybe I am too idealistic – too na├»ve. 



We agreed that friendship was for life,

but it was never supposed to be a sentence.



If there is really nothing left that I can offer you,

I have no option but to respect your point of view.



I don’t even begin to know

how to let this go.

Yet, my life’s mission never was to torture you.

Just don’t ask me to say that

to chuck it all away is right.

It feels so wrong.

 

If you ever need me, I’m still here for you.



Memories are eternal.

Mine will see me through.


Tuesday, 20 September 2016

"Real Life is Cliques and Clubs"


Life is the slammed-in-face, then double-locked door.

You’re surplus to requirements.

We don’t need you any more.



It’s an endless series of cliques and clubs -

exclusive, not inclusive -

and does your face – and body – fit?

If not, kindly forget it.

Thou shalt not be no fun,



which isn’t so easy

when you’re dying inside,

and hardly ever leave your home,

through no fault of your own.



It’s all just cliques and clubs –

and if you’re in, you’re in –

and if you’re not, then tough.

“Real life” is all just cliques and clubs.

Friday, 2 September 2016

"Care in the Community"


It’s not down to psychiatric staff,

who won’t help the suicidal.

It’s not down to the system,

forcing her to work - and not be “idle”.

You can’t start blaming the GPs,

who won’t provide home visits.

If she is ill, it’s her own fault –

for if not hers, whose is it?



It was not down to her family,

or so-called “friends”, who claimed to care.

Of course she could have talked to them

about her deep despair.

They wouldn’t have called it “attention-seeking”.

They wouldn’t have ignored her.

Her blood is not upon their hands.

To suggest as much, is out of order. 

Wednesday, 24 August 2016

"Return of the Travelling Funfair"



Nothing much, then


Just some abstract link


In my mind


With a passing funfair here


One that returned recently


How could you understand


I don’t expect it


And yes, I feel rejected


I understand


That abstract can never compete


With tangible


Shared memories


But maybe to me


It’s everything


That time – this time –


Anniversaries, like a carousel


Of dreams, that expired


And pass by, unnoticed


But not by me



Tuesday, 26 July 2016

"Not Valued"


We lost the naturalness and regularity –

the rhythm, cadence, and the melody.

It’s how almost every friendship

in my life, will

ultimately be.  It’s sad

that friends so rarely value me

the way that I do them.

Wednesday, 6 July 2016

"The Shift"


The shift is there

It’s clear to see

It can never be the same

Much less

Shift in the direction

That would have worked

For me – my dream

I can’t uncare

There’s nothing to be done

And so I stay

Yet pull away

And my broken heart beats on

Monday, 4 July 2016

"The Final Letting Go"


It has to come –

the final letting go –

and there’s a peace

that one day has to show

itself – a faint light –

and the memories

will just be beautiful,

and help to ease

this pain.  I’d rather leave

before it all breaks down.