"Employment Options: Horses For Courses"

If you don’t like animals,

Then why work in a zoo?



Why become a plumber

If you can’t unblock a loo?



Train as a pilot, by all means –

But not if you are scared of heights.



Apply only for nine-to-five posts,

If you don’t fancy working nights.



Don’t really want to work with kids?

You’ll come across those in a school.



Lorry drivers are expected

To drive lorries, as a rule.



Book phobics don’t suit libraries,

Or seek careers at Waterstones.



Get a job in Carphone Warehouse,

And you’ll end up selling phones.



You trained to "work in mental health".

Now you get paid to do so.

Present you with someone mentally ill –

And, for some reason, they expect you to know

What the hell to do to help the bloody person.