"A Piece of my Peace of Mind"

Sharing Polo mints in the afternoon -

immersed in endless daydream sequences,

my heart and mind full of

distorted perceptions,

fresh emotions

and unwanted realities.


A piece of the peace of mind that I seek -

that involved you, even though

I wasn't expecting it to.

I didn't realise that the distant past

could still affect me as much

as it does.

I don't want to go back.

It's not about contact -

not any more.

It's more about answers,

closure.

I needed to resolve

some issues in my own mind,

although no-one can find

what or who

doesn't want to be found.

Yet, I have a few answers -

a few almost-answers -

possibilities -

still so many uncertainties.

Is it enough?

Is it too much?

What I found?

What I possibly found?

What I may never know?

Now, can I let go?

I had to know -

or try to know -

something.

Now all I can do

is to whisper, "Goodbye,"

in my own mind,

and decide to let go.

If I was ever going to heal,

somehow it had to start with you -

so now I wish you well in my heart,

wherever you are -

and now I have

some clues as to that,

but I still don't know.

I never really knew

you at all.