"Breaking the Cycle"

How does she trust through silences

that bruise her brittle mind?

She can hear their echoes, so distinct -

and reality is duly redefined.


The cycle is relentless,

but she's fighting it this time.

"Every Shade of Pain"

I scream in every shade of pain.

There aren't sufficient words to convey

how deeply I hurt;

how much I need you

to care - to show that you care;

be there;

even when I push you away;

especially then.

I scream in every shade of pain,

and your silence says

it all

to me.

"Her Darkness"

she fears and obsesses

can you understand

tries to speculate and theorise

and daydreams a lot

but in truth

the outcome is too often

out of her hands


can you stay with her darkness

if so

for how long

you know how deeply she cares

and that you have done nothing wrong


but she fears and obsesses

and can't seem to stop

will it just drive you crazy

will you need to escape

or can you actually stay with

understand

and even embrace

her vibrant darkness

her passion, compassion

depression, insanity

creativity, kindness

intensity, love for you

random mood swings

instead

"Emotions Spinning"

a kaleidoscope of vibrant darkness

in my mind

that leaves my emotions spinning

like a fairground ride


wild horses

escape the carousel

by night


and dreams enclose me

"The Release"

and when I cry, I feel it - the release

but still, this overwhelming pain won't cease

when we have one thing

we must lose the other

I need to focus on my dreams now

change my destiny

always, there is a new path to discover

"Broken and Abandoned"

and they leave her broken

and in despair

each so-called "friend"

who had promised

to always be there

claimed to care

when she needs them the most

no word

just silence, screaming from her phone

email and Facebook - empty inbox, says it all

they step away

none of their business, anyway

just giving her space

and the family - same approach

can't "pander to people like that", after all

calls crisis support

what can they do

that's what they're asking her

listen might help

but they don't

and they won't

ring back in the morning

that's all they can say

then the day staff

can ignore her calls, too

which they do

can't they see

how close

she is

to the edge

what thoughts are racing, so relentlessly, through her head

so the moment arrives

she is finally going

to end it all

they'll catch her next time she's on Facebook

do they really not understand

any of them

yet she feels

a sense of

calm

now

she knows what she must do

and soon all that will be left

is her Facebook profile

and a Twitter page, overflowing with

inspirational quotes

in which she once tried to believe