"Why?"

Why does almost everyone let me down?

I might as well not exist at all.

I give everything, but am disposable.

How can people just watch me fall?

How can they be so cruel?

I am going through the motions now.

I do not

exist at all.

"Reality Deleted and Blocked"

Sadness overwhelms me:

feel empty, lonely,

broken inside.

There is nowhere to hide

from their lies,

and I realise

that nothing is real.

That's how I feel.

At the end of the day, it's just me,

and I'm free

to be abandoned - alone.
 

I see people as friends, and they

simply see me as

a Facebook profile.

"Colourful Chaos"

The colours came back

so suddenly, all

screaming at her for attention.

She tried to follow each

light, one by one,

but they blinded her,

overwhelmed her.

Panic froze her fragile mind,

until finally, she broke down and cried

yet again - but this time,

from frustration and

not knowing where to start.

"Colourless Void"

barely functioning

existing in her colourless void

empty inside

volatile

drowning

dying

crying

access to happiness - duly denied

isolated

faking "okay-ness" online

hating herself

and her so-called "life"

no place to hide

nothing left

beyond greyscale and black

here

it is colourless

a colourless void

"Delusions End"

Let the darkness take me.

I cannot fight it any more.

I don't know how to just hold on.

Where is everyone

who claims to "care"?

When you need them most,

no-one is there.


Delusions end here.

"Goodbye to Dreams"

When your heart and mind

explode with pain,

and it's surely time

to walk away -

when you close that door,

do you ensure

that it's double-locked -

or do you leave it ajar?

My dreams are dying. Let them go.

Night closes in.

I will never win.

"Not Worth Saving"

There is a switch

inside my head.

This makes no sense.

Almost okay - almost at peace -

and then, in a moment -

despair,

beyond reason.

They tell us to reach out,

if we ever experience

suicidal thoughts.

Yet, when we do -

they refuse to believe us.

We are left feeling

invalidated,

broken,

routinely ignored -

not part of the

psychiatric system's "elite" -

those who are considered

"worth saving".