"Violated"

violated

more times

than anyone knows

more than I could even

admit to myself

broken

broken and battered inside

I breathe on

I bleed on

I survive

but never thrive

"Helpless"

they are here

I feel their pain

every day

it twists

forming complex knots

inside my heart

rips me apart

words aren't enough

my tears

my love

some days

just getting through

myself

can feel like

an almost impossible task

depleted

defeated

and yes

I still get suicidal thoughts


but what do you do

when you want to help

but you can't

can't help anyone

anyone at all

so you simply watch

the future

unfolding

in black-and-white

fading into sepia tones

in painfully slow motion

you're watching them fall

and all you really want

is for someone

to grab your hand

and save you

because

you know

that you're falling too

but you can't

reach out

how can you when

you're paralysed

by fear


so they are there

inside her head

she feels their pain

every day

but she cannot help

cannot save

anyone

and now she is dying with them