"Birch Trees"

sterling silver

in sunlight


little silver bells

your leaves

in the breeze


white paint peeling


fragile strength

of summer's days

"Autumn Days"

the ambers and coppers

warming the greens

as days become colder

and jaded hearts freeze

"Exploring with the Thought-Fox" (inspired by the Ted Hughes poem)

rustle of leaves in woodland

thought-fox arrives


nuzzling

quiet

snug corners

of the mind

"Scanning"

granite tears

falling

their slow

steady descent

her memory

scanning the

hidden horrors of her

navy-blue velvet years

a childhood

drifting into young adulthood

that she cannot

forget

from which she cannot

move on

"Patterns"

alarm bells start to ring inside my mind

each time

every time

once I begin to notice

as soon as I become

unable to ignore

the obvious

the too familiar

"not real friend" signs

"Missed The Point Again"

The isolation just makes me go crazy.

They want to bully me. It's not the way.

Everyone assumes that I am lazy -

and will not hear a single word I say.


Their labels cannot begin to define

who I am, or dreams I might aspire to.

They make sure that I know all blame is mine.

They ridicule me - mock my point of view.


I'm not allowed to say that it's not fair.

I'm not supposed to moan or disagree.

Did I expect that they would really care?

Did I expect my dinners to be free?


They've missed the point again: What a surprise.

I listen, in stunned silence, to their lies. 

"A Certain Stillness"

At the very centre of our silence,

I listen to the orchestra of angels,

and a certain stillness seems to

enter, deep inside of me.

"One Day"

one day you'll respect me

not hurt and reject me

one day you'll accept me


you'll recognise me


and realise

that I

have good intentions

would never

could never

harm you

and I wish you well

always


and maybe

then

one day

you'll even trust me

and treat me


like somebody real


like a friend


one day

but maybe

not in this lifetime

"People Do What People Do"

you wouldn't treat them the way that

they treat you

but people do what people do

and do not give a

passing thought

to you

and do not give a flying

bleep

about you

people don't do what they don't do

even though they could

and you would

because they don't really care

about you

at all

and it's your problem

at the end of the day

if you still care

about them anyway

you can't force them to give a flying

bleep

about you

and people will always do

what people do

"Tell Me Why" (for Stacey)

I asked the Great Spirit –

Asked Father Sky:

You took my friend back,

So please tell me why.

She was so kind and beautiful,

And too young to die.



I still wait for an answer,

And try to believe

That God knows what He’s doing

And hopes to achieve,

By taking away our loved ones,

And making us grieve.

"Learning to Fake It" (for Stacey, who taught me about "fake it until you make it")

So when you just want

To panic or scream

To run away or to die

Because you’re so bloody terrified



Because for some of us

That happens almost all of the time

In every day situations

Such as standing in the queue

At Tesco Express

Or sitting in a chair

At the hairdressers

Or answering phone calls

Especially ones from "The Family"



So what you do

All you do

You pretend

You think

What would I do here

If I was confident

How would I act

What would I say

How would I be

Come across



You fake it

Until you make it



You learn to pretend



And sometimes it doesn’t work

And sometimes it does

And sometimes it helps a little



So it isn’t a perfect solution

But sometimes it works

"Darkness"

this darkness stifles screams

trapped within a soul that bleeds

eternally